I'm not leaving
by SexuallyConfusedTurtle
Summary: The angels are falling. Castiel isn't dealing with it very well. (post season 8, its my first one that I actually had the guts to publish, the first chapters may be short but I'll try to make them longer.)


The angels had fallen.

Sam's leg was broken and Cas was in surgery. Dean sat in Sam's room, shaking.  
''Dean, calm down, I know it's bad right now but the doctors know what they're doing'' Sam said.''He'll be up and running in no time''  
''I don't know , Sammy. We don't even know what happened up there, why he fell''  
''Look, I know I'm on some strong painkillers right now and don't really know what I'm saying, but I know that we can trust these guys. You just need to relax a bit''  
''You almost died, Sam!'' Dean shouted a bit too loudly ''And Cas isn't doing so good either. How the hell can I relax?''  
''Just breathe. Charlie will be here in no time, she can stay with me while you check up on Cas.'' Sam stated. ''I'm gonna try to rest a bit, you should do the same.'  
Dean let Sam sleep and the nurse promised to wake Dean up with any updates on Cas's status. He laid down on a couple of chairs and slowly drifted away to the low sound of stairway to heaven on the radio.

''Dean, hey wake up'' A woman's voice said ''You have to wake up''  
He opened his eyes to see a redhead standing over him ''Charlie?'' He looked at the clock on the wall. '' 9:42am, I've been asleep for five hours...'' he yawned''When did you get here?´''  
''About an hour ago, you looked awful so I decided to let you sleep a bit longer'' She responded.  
He quickly sat up and looked at the nurse by the door.''Castiel, is he- is he okay?'' He stuttered  
''Surgery went well, he's resting now''  
Dean let out a relieved sigh and buried his face in his hands.''Can I see him?''  
''Of course, just follow me'' the nurse said.

They walked through the hall and up the stairs. On the second floor she pointed him to Cas's room and went back downstairs.  
Dean walked towards said room and quietly opened the door.  
Cas was lying on his left side, facing the door. His face and arms covered in bruises and cuts. As Dean walked over to the other side of the room to close the curtains he noticed what looked like two large bandages on Castiel's back.  
He sat down on a chair on the side of Cas's bed so he could see his face. He looked so small in all the covers and blankets. The white shirt he was wearing was clearly a couple of sizes too big. Dean looked around the room and saw a pile of clothes, his trench coat hanging on the door to the bathroom. Both the tie and shirt we're bloodstained. They would have to get Cas new clothes as soon as they got out of there.  
His eyed were directed back to Cas when he heard a low mumble coming from the former angel.  
''Dean..?'' Cas said, opening his ridiculously blue eyes.  
''Cas, how are you, man'' Dean asked not containing his smile ''I was worried sick about you''  
''You should smile more, Dean'' Cas responded ''It looks good on you''  
Dean put his hand on Cas's arm.''Where's Sam?'' The angel asked.  
''He can't walk right now, broke his damn leg on the way here''  
''Where are we?'' Castiel asked confused  
''The hospital, they had to operate on you so don't move around too much''  
Castiel carefully raised himself up so he was sitting up. He lifted his shirt and saw a big bandage on his chest.  
''You broke a couple of ribs and they had to make sure your lungs weren't damaged or anything, plus some internal bleeding they had to do something about'' Dean informed him.''The nurse told me that it might leave a scar but it's not hard to get rid of''  
The doctor knocked on the door and walked in. ''Castiel Novak, if I'm not mistaking''  
Cas figured that the Winchesters had to give them a last name. ''Yes, that would be correct''  
''How are you feeling?''  
''I'm good, my chest and back hurt but it's not that bad''  
''It was not easy stitching your back closed, but we got it done''  
''Stitches? how many of them?'' Cas asked.  
''18 in total, 9 on each side, it will leave some pretty bad scars but we can fix that up later on if you want to'' The doctor informed him ''I think that's all, if you have any questions just call the nurse''

He left Dean and Cas alone.  
It suddenly hit Castiel what happened and he started to tear up.  
''Cas, what's wrong?'' Dean asked worried.  
''My wings...'' Castiel looked at Dean with tears streaming down his face.''They're gone''  
''What happened up there. Was it Naomi?''  
''No, Metatron killed her...and took my grace away.''  
''Son of a bitch'' Dean mumbled ''Look, we'll get him. We'll get your grace back and you can kill him yourself.''  
''No...I don't deserve to get it back. Can't you see what I did? I expelled all angels from heaven'' Castiel cried ''My siblings, It's all my fault''  
''Don't say that, Cas. He lied to you. You had nothing to do with this. You didn't know''  
''Well I should have known!'' Castiel roared, He had pulled his legs up to his chest and was pulling on his hair, rocking back and forth crying uncontrollably''  
''CAS! You're having an anxiety attack, just breathe.''  
''I-I can't'' Castiel sobbed.  
''Yes you can'' Dean stood up and sat down on Cas's bed putting his arms around him'' I'm right here, Just let it out''  
Castiel closed his eyes and grabbed Dean's sleeve. He screamed.

The sound of a dying angel. He was still not entirely human. His eyes were glowing white, the light beaming through his closed eyelids.


End file.
